Learn to Free Yourself From Daily Stress
I’m not good enough. That’s what I told myself over and over. Making me feel so much stress. And wanting so badly for it to end. For decades I’d been working hard to stop feeling sad and ashamed about myself. Self-help books, coaching, therapy, group-healing, screaming, crying, pulling back, ignoring, blaming others. Longing with all my heart to free myself from it. But it just didn’t happen. Until…
Convicted and imprisoned by my own doing
Until I was taught the simple but lifesaving truth: my head is filled with hundreds of negative convictions. All made up by me. Causing all my daily stress. I trained myself to just stop doing that. Whuuut? Just like that? Yes. Why continue when it makes you feel bad? You already hold the key to free yourself. Ehm…yeah right.
I know it sounds too simple and too annoying to be true, but everyone owns the superpower to end feeling stress, being that you have the power to make a choice:
The Choice To Stop Doing What Makes You Stressed Out. Learn to just stop it!
If you were anything like I was, you'd be rolling your eyes by now and click away.
I don't know about you, but for at least 20 years I'd been trying to find a way to get rid of that sickening feeling of stress. So this for sure wasn't gonna help me. Pretty soon I found out it was the ONLY thing that could help me, for it put me in full control over the course I was sailing in my life.
Please bear with me..
How on earth do I free myself from this daily stress?
- Recognize it when you’re in stress
Many of us go through life feeling stress daily. Mostly without even knowing you suffer from it. This feeling of discomfort just comes so naturally that you don’t know that it’s the wicked mastermind behind your headaches, fast pulse, sleepless nights, overwhelmed head, depression, sadness, tense shoulders, or worse.
Stress happens every time negative emotions take over. Ever felt paralyzed by sadness, blinded by anger or felled by shame? Such a waste of your precious energy. These negative emotions start running through your veins and dominate all your daily actions.
Feeling awkward and alone because you just can’t seem to connect with anyone at that party? You feel sad and therefore stress because your mind told you you’re not interesting.
Angry at your spouse because – for the umpteenth time - he isn’t listening to you? I understand, it’s so very hurtful to feel you don’t matter. But blaming the other will place you above that person and keeps you miles away from a solution. It will eventually end up in stressful frustration or even self-hate.
Try to recognize these signs of daily stress, like fear, shame, guilt, sadness, jealousy, and anger. And know that only a tree with thorns will grow from feeding these hurtful emotions. As a result, your negative convictions and thoughts stay in control, and will keep giving you very unhelpful advice.
2. Change your convictions
Underneath every physical or emotional discomfort - called stress - lies hidden a negative conviction. ‘I am stupid’, ‘I’m a bother’, ‘I will not stand out from the crowd’ or ‘I can’t do that’.
These kinds of convictions can be numerous and are the ones worth to explore. This self-defeating belief of who you are and how you should act is not serving you. Or anyone else for that matter. Recognizing these thoughts is the key to your process of change.
Your brain is simple. It believes what you tell it. In all those years you’ve become a master in believing your negative convictions.
Imagine what will happen when you learn how to use that powerful persuasion to excel in believing new and positive convictions!
It really is not helpful if you keep believing your negative thoughts on how you should be or how you should act. And sure, faking it til you’re making it will higher your short term self-belief. But will cost you so much energy and willpower, because you’re not really believing it. It will end up with you feeling more stressed out.
- Know and believe that you always have a choice between helpful and unhelpful thoughts.
- Change your conviction to positive ones.
('I am worth it!', 'I can do this!', 'My best is good enough!'...)
- Train yourself to see the sunny side of your negative beliefs and convictions .
- Be congruent.
Speak only the words that you are feeling. And feel the words you are speaking.
3. Take your time
It’s okay if you feel it’s not working. Yet. Believe in yourself. Have trust that you really (!) have the power. And that it really is that simple to achieve change.
It takes about 100 days for a pumpkin to grow from a seed. It’s just the time it needs. Plant your seed of change. Water it every day and watch it grow. Be mild and patient when you feel the penny must drop immediately. That just causes stress. Stop it. Recognize it’s just your negative conviction rearing its monstrous head again. And know that you can change it.
Even though you feel you are not progressing, by understanding all of the above you’re making small movements towards BIG life changes.
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